Breaking Through the "Want Wall" - The Power of Self-Discipline

For years, I yearned to be that person who embraced the morning, prioritizing my well-being before the day's demands took over. The desire to stay fit, learn French, and cut back on nightly wine lingered, but they remained elusive aspirations. Then came the "want wall" moment - the realization that merely wanting change wasn't enough.

Wanting serves well for the initial burst, but it takes self-discipline to endure beyond the first few days. Self-discipline is about doing the hard things even when motivation wanes.

So, how does one transition from wanting to disciplined action? It starts with a decision.

A want is a desire, a preference without a concrete plan. In contrast, a decision involves commitment and intention, a pledge to take specific actions to make things happen.

I decided with specificity. Waking up at 4:30 am six days a week, practicing French daily, limiting wine to Saturdays - these were my commitments. Crucially, I committed even on tough days, tired days, eventful days, and days I just didn't feel like it. Missing a day didn't mean quitting; it meant getting back on track.

Another commitment I made was not to quit altogether. These were aspects of my compelling vision, non-negotiable elements of who I wanted to become. Deciding, committing, and refusing to quit formed the three crucial pillars. I'll call them the "Self-Discipline Trinity".

With these pieces in place, I achieved a level of self-discipline I hadn't known in my 46 years. This newfound discipline, paired with consistency, bolstered my confidence. It propelled me to launch my coaching business, a feat that had eluded me for far too long.

For me, deciding, committing, and not quitting were the catalysts for change. Couple that with a clear, value-aligned vision, measurable goals, action plans, a dash of accountability, and there you have it!

So, the next time the snooze button beckons, remember this mantra: **DECIDE. COMMIT. DON'T QUIT.™**

What's been on your 'want' list for years? Have you hit your 'want wall'? Are you ready to decide, commit, and not quit? Let's break through together! 💪✨ #SelfDiscipline #CommitToChange #DecideCommitDontQuit

The Power of self-belief: You are your greatest ally

🌟 If you had to choose one person to believe in you, who would it be? You.

🌟 Who can you count on to believe in you through thick and thin? You.

🌟 Who knows you better than anyone and knows your true potential? You.

 Your answers should all lead back to one person: YOU!

It's imperative to understand that belief in yourself must always start with you. Regardless of how much others believe in you, your journey towards any goal begins with your own self-belief. Without it, achieving your aspirations can be an uphill battle, with your own doubts acting as a powerful adversary.

Perhaps you struggle to believe in yourself because you lack concrete proof that you can achieve your goals. But here's the catch: if you wait for proof that you can accomplish something you've never done, you'll likely never make that leap. Sometimes, you must believe in your capabilities in advance and let confidence and knowledge develop as you progress.

Maybe your self-doubt stems from feelings of unworthiness due to past actions. Rest assured, you were born worthy, and nothing can strip you of that inherent worth. Every day is a fresh opportunity to be the person who believes in their own worthiness.

You might believe that having someone else believe in you is helpful. Knowing that others have faith in you can indeed boost your courage, confidence, and empowerment. But remember, these feelings originate from thoughts, and your thoughts can generate these feelings without relying on someone else's belief. Plus, you can't control someone else's belief – it's a variable that can change. Your self-belief, on the other hand, is firmly within your control. 

And let's talk about understanding your infinite potential. No one, absolutely no one, knows you as intimately as you do. You possess the knowledge of your capabilities, and only you can channel your mind, heart, soul, energy, intentions, skills, abilities, and past experiences to achieve incredible feats. You are the one in the driver's seat. You decide when to accelerate, brake, turn, or maintain the course. Your potential and what you choose to do with it are entirely in your hands. Rely on yourself, not others, for this knowledge. 

Feeling the support and belief of others is undeniably wonderful, but what happens when you're alone? In the early hours or late nights, when no one's watching, and there's still work to be done? What happens when everyone's focus is elsewhere?

When you believe in yourself, here's what happens: You keep going. You persist. You're undeterred. You are your own driving force, cheering yourself on when the world's attention has shifted. You believe in your abilities, and that unwavering self-belief keeps you moving forward. 

Believe in yourself. Everyone else's belief is just icing on the cake. 🍰✨ #SelfBelief #YouAreYourGreatestAlly

The power of a compelling vision: why you need one

Are you tired of wandering aimlessly through life, following the dreams and passions of others, and feeling like you're stuck in a never-ending cycle of monotony? I know that feeling all too well. Before I discovered the importance of a compelling vision, my life lacked purpose, passion, and progress. I was merely going through the motions, living up to society's expectations, and never really knowing what I truly wanted.

For years, when asked about my career aspirations, I struggled to provide a genuine answer. I would mumble something about wanting my boss's job or seeking job security and financial stability. I was clueless about my own desires and aspirations, trapped in the illusion of what I was supposed to want. Without a clear vision for my future, I had no real purpose, no motivating goals, and absolutely no self-discipline. It was a repetitive cycle of uninspiring days.

All of this changed in 2021 when I discovered my life's purpose: helping other women through life coaching. I embarked on a journey to become a certified coach and start my own business. However, I soon realized that achieving this goal, while maintaining a full-time job in project management, would demand an entirely different level of commitment and self-discipline. It required a profound "why" to keep me motivated.

As Simon Sinek aptly put it, "No one buys your what, they buy your why." I initially attempted to push forward without a compelling reason, thinking that merely identifying my purpose would be enough to propel me into action. But that wasn't the case.

So, I set out to create a truly compelling vision for myself. I wanted a vision that would evoke interest, attention, and admiration, one that was impossible to refute, and, most importantly, one that was overwhelming in its power. I wanted something that would light a fire within me, something that would make me leap out of bed in the morning, ready to take on the world.

I crafted a vision so vivid and detailed that I could see myself living it. I envisioned the people who would surround me, how I would spend my days, and where I would be. More importantly, I could feel the emotions associated with that vision. To this day, I occasionally drive my 2014 Toyota Prius while imagining myself as a CEO in a BMW, making decisions and conquering my fears. That vision transforms my anxiety into action.

What sets my compelling vision apart is that it aligns perfectly with my core values. Aligning your vision with your values is crucial; without this alignment, you'll encounter resistance and self-sabotage, hindering your progress. When your vision harmonizes with your values, victories become attainable.

I couldn't have achieved any of this without a compelling vision. It provided me with a roadmap, a destination, and a frame of reference. It showed me where to begin and where I was headed.

If you, like me, aspire to achieve your biggest dreams, the most audacious goals, and the life you've always wanted, then it's time to create your compelling vision. Ensure that it aligns with your values and get to work!

Are you a woman seeking guidance on how to create a compelling vision that aligns with your values and transform it into reality? Join me on Saturday, October 21st, for a virtual workshop. Together, we'll walk through the process step by step. By the end, you'll not only have a compelling vision but also goals and plans to set you on your path. Register today for this free workshop and take the first step toward your extraordinary future!

Breaking Free from Limiting Beliefs

As a mindset coach, I often find myself helping others confront their limiting beliefs. But let me be clear – I'm not immune to these sneaky mental barriers myself. Just like anyone else, I've grappled with the confines of limiting beliefs at various points in my life. The truth is, even those of us in the field of life coaching have encountered these self-imposed limitations.

iPEC defines limiting beliefs as "generalizations, stereotypes, or ideas that you learned and accepted about yourself, about the world, or about other people that limits you in some way." These subtle but powerful notions often take root early in life and persist into adulthood, operating on a subconscious level. These beliefs shape our perceptions of ourselves and the world, silently influencing our decisions and ambitions. Despite their covert nature, they can be overcome with dedication and awareness.

I've uncovered a mix of these limiting beliefs over time – some ingrained during childhood, others acquired in adulthood. However, many remained hidden until I embarked on my journey of self-awareness and personal growth in my late thirties. These beliefs can become so deeply entrenched that they mold our identities before we even have the chance to shape them ourselves. It's their insidious influence that makes them particularly detrimental, especially considering the way they deter us from realizing our full potential and pursuing our loftiest aspirations.

Let's explore a few common examples of limiting beliefs:

1. Feeling Unworthy: The sense of not being deserving of opportunities, goals, or dreams.

2. Not Smart Enough: Doubting your own intelligence or abilities.

3. Age Limitations: Believing you're either too young or too old to achieve something.

4. Money Struggles: Thinking it's difficult to earn a substantial income.

Though these beliefs may seem intractable, they can indeed be discarded. The process involves recognizing the belief through self-reflection, actively deciding it's not serving your best interests, and replacing it with a more empowering perspective.

Yet, releasing deeply ingrained limiting beliefs is not a walk in the park. Consider this scenario: if you've spent your entire life convinced that making money is a Herculean task, suddenly believing the opposite won't happen overnight. Such a shift can trigger cognitive dissonance or resistance. A useful approach is to adopt an intermediary belief that's easier to accept. For instance, rather than leaping to "making money is easy," start with "there are multiple ways to generate income."

Once you've pinpointed your replacement belief, it's time to integrate it into your daily life. Begin with small steps and gradually progress to more significant actions. Every time you observe your new belief shaping your thoughts and actions, take a moment to acknowledge your growth and the barriers you've overcome.

My personal experience echoes this journey. Throughout my life, I held onto a limiting belief that I wasn't capable of planning and executing an international trip without outside guidance. The complexity and uncertainty of such an endeavor overwhelmed me. This belief, however, was challenged when my husband proposed a family trip to South Korea coinciding with his global residency, an opportunity that demanded me to step outside my comfort zone.

At 46, facing the prospect of orchestrating travel arrangements for myself and my four kids was intimidating. The idea of navigating a foreign country and dealing with the logistics evoked anxiety. Nevertheless, I was determined not to let this chance slip away. My commitment to growth propelled me forward.

Embarking on this journey exposed my limiting belief's resilience. As I tackled each task, like obtaining passports and planning accommodations, my anxiety-induced procrastination manifested. I realized this was my telltale sign of discomfort. However, delving into the process, I recognized my capacity for learning and adaptability. This realization boosted my confidence with each milestone achieved.

Upon arriving in South Korea, the initial disorientation and excitement pushed me to confront my beliefs head-on. Overcoming language barriers with the help of translation tools and interacting with locals demonstrated my capacity to navigate unfamiliar territory. However, challenges persisted, such as a particularly stressful evening when I struggled to find food for my kids. My initial feeling of helplessness shifted as I observed my reactions, which enabled me to change my mindset and take action. Overcoming this challenge and many others on the trip gradually eroded my limiting belief.

Reflecting on this journey, I am reminded of my father's words: "The more you do, the more you can do." These words resonate profoundly, encapsulating the essence of growth and transformation. So, what's on the horizon for this newly empowered international traveler? A trip to Paris awaits!

Now, I turn the focus to you. Have you shattered a limiting belief that opened doors to new experiences? Or are you currently grappling with one? Share your thoughts and stories in the comments below – I'd love to hear from you!

ENOUGH!

I have wanted to officially launch my coaching business for over a year. I have wanted to go live with my website for over a year. I have wanted to start a blog for over a year. I have wanted to put myself out there in a real way as a coach and as a creator for over a year. What took me so long? One four-letter f-word that I say all the time. No, not that four-letter f-word. The word I’m talking about is “fear”. I am filled with it. I have a fear of putting myself out there. I have a fear I won’t do it right. I have a fear that people will laugh at me. I have a fear they will criticize me. I have a fear that I will “get in trouble” for being a coach - that’s one of my irrational fears :). My biggest fear? That I will fail, give up, and let go of the dream.

So to avoid all those fears, I postponed my dream. I postponed all my potential. My potential to fail as well as succeed. My potential to change my life and to change the lives of others. My potential to realize a completely different version of myself and my life. All of that potential postponed but not forgotten.

Well today, as I write this post, I have decided ENOUGH! Enough postponing all my potential. Enough of postponing my hopes, my dreams, and all the things I have wanted to experience including inevitable failures. Enough already. It’s time to feel the fear that I feel every day (HINT: just because I haven’t done it doesn’t mean I don’t feel the fears) and do all the things anyway. If I’m going to feel free I might as well give myself to opportunity to feel passion and success. I want to feel what it feels like to go after something that scares the hell out of me but is everything that I’ve ever wanted. Now that feeling is worth experiencing all the fears.

Why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we give up in advance thinking we’re saving ourselves pain when in reality we’re exchanging one pain for another? We exchange the fear of possibilities, good or bad, for the certainty of regret. It makes zero sense when you look at it objectively, but it’s really hard to be objective in your own head. Pro tip: That’s why a coach is so helpful :).

This is a behavior that as humans we do to keep ourselves safe. We are built the known quantity. We are built to stay in the cave where it’s safe and warm. We come by those fears and tendencies naturally as humans and some of us more so depending on how we were raised. Remember, we all come from somewhere. We are living now from where we came from. Our present is always influenced by our past and that’s hard-wired. To change that takes deliberate work on mindset. It requires thinking about what you’re thinking about and really analyzing the why’s and then making deliberate choices to think differently.

I made a deliberate choice today that enough is enough and I’m moving forward. I have no idea what will happen. The possibilities are infinite and isn’t that exciting!